Stepping Back for Summer

Stepping Back for Summer

Stepping Back for Summer

I need a break!!

It feels weird realising that I need a break from everything after simultaneously feeling as though my life and business have been on hold during the pandemic. 

However, since the pandemic started I haven't stopped:

  • Worrying
  • Feeling anxious
  • Struggling with fatigue
  • Battling depression
  • Feeling like a failure
  • Procrastinating
  • Starting things but not finishing anything
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • Showing up and retreating again
  • Feeling like a failure all over again 

All of this has been more exhausting and challenging than some of the biggest projects I've ever worked on. 

I've declared a couple of times over the past year that I'm taking things steady to regroup only to fill my time with chores and stress. 

But every time, I create space I instantly fill it with unnecessary crap, which on reflection, is not a new behaviour for me. 

NOTE TO SELF: Journal more about how I fill space with crap!!

 

Being still is so hard to do!

I like being busy. 

I like to feel useful. 

And I need to have a purpose otherwise I'm just lost. 

But this in turn creates a bit of a problem when I put all of my energy and attention in the wrong places as a reaction to fill the space that I created which I so desperately needed. 

  • Why is it so hard to stay still? 
  • Why can I not just sit in the space I have created and just be? 

 

Clarity of Journaling

A few weeks ago, in my journal, I wrote: 

What's the difference between 'doing what I want to' and 'doing what I think I should'? 

The brief answer is: Doing what I want to means loving what I do, while doing what I think I should means resenting what I do. 

These things bring completely different energies forward into my life and can be the difference between a great day and a crappy one. 

Stepping back for summer is something I've always wanted to do. In fact, taking more time off in the summer months was on my list of reasons why I wanted to be my own boss. 

And do you know how many summers I've taken off since becoming an entrepreneur 8 years ago? 

Zero

Nothing

Nil

None! 

So as a result I'm going to allow myself between now and the autumn equinox (22nd September) to discover stillness, embrace what I want to do and remove or simplify the things I've begun to resent and find frustrating. 

Is this summer an action or stillness phase for you? 

Let me know in the comments below

Sarah 🖤💛

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