I Stopped Showing Up for Myself
Written by Sarah Cornforth
Inside this article, I talk about the power of showing up for ourselves and what happened when I stopped.
We take a look at:
- I didn’t even realise what I’d done
- This is what happened next
- Why were things different?
- Does action always equal results?
- Look to the past to see where you are right now
- I had entered ‘maintenance mode’
- Switch to ‘feeling mode’
- What is showing up?
- Ways to show up for yourself
- The thing you do now will serve you later
- How can creativity help you show up?
- How can the Moon help you show up?
The things you do in your life right now will serve you later
Welcome to the Magickal Moments Podcast. Check out my episode on how I stopped showing up for myself.
I stopped showing up for myself
I recently talked about this live on The Magickal Creatrix Facebook Page and it was such an amazing live discussion that resonated with so many that I want to bring it to you as a blog and podcast too!
Check out the replay over on YouTube below.
I didn’t even realise what I’d done
Let’s start with the truth – I didn’t even realise what I’d done.
Somewhere along the line, I’d changed what showing up for myself looked like and made it all about work and my business-related accomplishments. (This is something I call Maintenance Mode which I come onto later).
This direction was great in the short term as everything looked as though it was going well. I felt in control. I felt happy. I even moved house and started a new life with my partner and our dog. I could see the potential of my future all around me.
Then it stopped. Things became harder, more exhausting, frustrating, debilitating. I was doing the same stuff, but now it was making life hard to cope with.
This is what happened next
I began struggling with my energy during the day and then my sleep during the night became interrupted and erratic. My eating habits changed. My mood was all over the place. And I found it hard to maintain a consistent level of joy.
Why were things different?
I’d become preoccupied with the results of my hard work, and I’d forgotten about the other stuff I’d been doing in the background which made it possible for me to work hard in the first place.
You see, hard work is a great distraction for things like a global pandemic, BUT, hard work alone doesn’t bring long term good results. There are many other things required to manifest your desires and be successful. There has to be some sort of balance which is why this stuff can feel unpredictable and uncomfortable.
QUOTE: The things you do in your life right now will serve you later
That’s a quote from my journal and the reason for this article as it struck a chord with me when I read it back later.
Does action always equal results?
In the fast-paced world that we live in, we look for a direct correlation between action and results. If things are going well right now, we attribute the action of ‘right now’ as being the reason why.
But actually, what we have been doing is setting ourselves up for this moment for days, weeks, months or even years without realising it.
Look to the past to see where you are right now
Three months before writing this article, the global pandemic started to impact us here in the UK in a big way, and we went into lockdown. The world became a scary place of unknowns, restrictions, death, guilt, fear and many other challenging emotions and situations.
Initially, I adapted very well. I already worked from home. My business was stable enough to withstand short term global disruption. I didn’t go to pubs or restaurants so my social life wasn’t impacted too much. For me, the biggest problem, in the beginning, was not being able to travel and head to the mountains which is how I like to recharge my batteries.
- Overall I was doing okay.
- My family was doing okay.
- My friends were doing okay.
- Things were okay.
I had entered ‘maintenance mode’
When there are challenges or unforeseen circumstances I go into something that I call ‘maintenance mode’. This is when I take care of the things I am responsible for in my life and business and nothing more or nothing less. This means I manage my energy, I protect my mental health and I deal with only what I am capable of.
Maintainance mode is a default setting for me which began as a reaction to extreme stress and trauma in my past. In the past, this ‘setting’ probably saved my life more than once, but these days it’s more of a hindrance than a support.
Switch to ‘feeling mode’
For my life now, maintenance mode’ needs to be switched to ‘feeling mode’, and I’m working on that. It’s important that as challenges arise I connect with how it makes me feel so that I can process it better.
To switch to ‘feeling mode’ I need to show up, do the work, make my internal exploration a priority and talk to those around me more.
What is ‘showing up’?
As maintenance mode is no longer a healthy option for me, an alternative is required, and that alternative is to show up.
This doesn’t mean forgetting my responsibilities, I still take care of those as I certainly don’t need the pressure of letting everything turn to rubbish. Instead, it’s important to take stock of my responsibilities and take on only the essential stuff by asking friends and family to help out where they can. The space I have then created is where I start to do the work.
Showing up is all about doing the work to recharge, relax, express yourself, be creative, be in the moment, explore, grow, learn, teach and find joy in your daily life.
Ways to show up for yourself
Here’s a list I made in my journal of ways to show up for yourself.
If they resonate with you, add them to your journal too and also add your own to the list to make it personal.
- Do more of what you love
- Find ways of turning the things you need to do into things you love to do
- Don’t deprive yourself of a creative outlet
- Listen to your vibrational frequency and your daily energy before your to-do list
- When you feel trapped, stop and step back to see the whole picture
- Use journaling and creativity as a prevention and not just a cure for navigating challenging times
- Ask yourself “how are you doing?” every day
- See your thirst for knowledge as a necessity and not a luxury
- Explore creativity just to see what you come up with
- Embrace nature, the outdoors and a quieter way of life more often
- Be curious and mindful
- Share your journey with others and inspire them to do the same
- Ask for help when you need it ⠀⠀⠀
The things you do now will serve you later
Let’s go back to that statement from my journal. We started this discussion by looking at how the impact of three months ago was showing in my life right now. This all happened because I stopped showing up for myself and now I have some work to do to bridge the energetic gap which has been created as a result.
Showing up for yourself more often than not WILL support consistency and stability in your life. And let’s face it, we all want a piece of that. Then there are the bonus benefits of personal growth, spiritual evolution and good mental health to name just a few big ones.
How can creativity help you show up?
I use creativity to heal, cope, explore and grow. It’s kinda my thing. However, it’s not always been the case. Also, I have to hold my hands up and admit to not always being good at putting this into action when I need it the most. I am human after all.
Creativity is important as it allows you to:
- Put time aside just for you
- Connect with how you feel
- Express what going on in your internal world
- Digitally detox
- Try something new
- Feel proud, happy and rewarded
I began my creative journey with colouring books and I highly recommend it as a place to start. It’s very relaxing. I then started to draw mandala art, then drawing animals and plants and finally painting, crafting and pretty much giving anything a go. Not all of the results have been good, but all of the effort was worth it.
My latest online course called Unleash Your Magickal Creatrix is all about guiding you through a creative journey using the themes of the New and Full Moons to support your exploration. In this course, I am giving you the tools to show up for yourself as often as you can.
How can the Moon help you show up?
The most amazing thing about working with the Moon is the cycles. We go through all eight phases in a lunar cycle and each one has a different vibe and energy. Then we explore a New and Full Moon in every sign of the zodiac during the course of a year. This provides us with the opportunity to connect with a different energetic theme each cycle and explore that theme through journaling, creativity and generally showing up.
Unleash Your Magickal Creatrix combines the power of the Moon with the benefits of creativity and I guide you step by step through the process.
Also, check out The Magickal Moon Empowerment portal which takes you on a journey of self-discovery at every New and Full Moon along with additional workshops to help you dive deeper into lunar astrology and what it means for you.
What comes up for you with this one?
Let me know in the comments below as I would love to hear your thoughts on it.
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